When Smart Devices Aren't

My kids feel the pain I felt watching my parents try to learn how to operate a VCR.

I have a Smarter-than-me phone.  It is really cool, high functioning, although it appears my 5 year old has greater command of the technology.  I think it gives me personal and business flexibility with mobility. 

A Smart Phone has great functions like controlling your home music or security systems.  If you don’t get overwhelmed by the real time feedback, it can provide fingertip access to ways to eliminate waste and improve efficiencies, so I will keep my Smart Phone.

By now, everyone should have Smart Electricity Meters, that will begin to measure monthly energy use remotely.  The two-way system will enable us to monitor electricity use and costs online, as easily as we check mobile phone use or our bank accounts. 

With many of us looking for ways to save, knowing exactly how much electricity a clothes dryer uses and what it costs will likely change our laundry habits.  Soon there will be appliances that can benefit from these insights, so one might set the dryer to perform functions when energy costs are at the lowest.

But, Smart Meter, not-so smart-transformers.  So, if a neighborhood has a bunch of electric vehicles, the Smart Meters will know when the resident charges the vehicle.  However the transformer does not possess the same intelligence, and cannot move the energy service around the grid to meet customer demands, at least not just yet.

And that brings us to Smart Irrigation Controllers, and I have a bone to pick.  Actually, I would like to take that bone and … well, let me just tell you about my experience with one not so smart offering, in my opinion.

Two years ago, I was so excited to have a Smart Irrigation Controller installed.  Contractor comes out, evaluates my soil and landscape conditions, programs this into the unit that is to take the intelligence and distribute water based on weather in my micro-climate.

Conceptually, sounds wonderful, but here is the reality of my experience. I programmed the unit, across 10 stations, for 100 percent capacity, a hot summer day.  Then I went to bewaterwise.com, a great resource, to get the watering index.  Then, every so often, I set the unit to distribute a percentage of that maximum.  In the winter, it might be 50%.

My first water bill after installation showed a significant increase. 

“Ah, you were deficit watering,”  said the company, “now you are delivering the appropriate and necessary water consumption for a healthy landscape.” 

Then, my Christmas lights tripped the outlet the Controller was plugged into.  So, for six months, my Smart Irrigation Controller was off.  On June 15, I plugged it back in, wondering if the unit was so smart, why didn’t it tell me it was not on, let alone provide data on use so I might be able to conserve water, save money, or detect a leak.

Two weeks later, a bill for my annual subscription came due.  Nice, the only time the Smart Controller chooses to communicate with me is to say “Pay me now.”

It gets worse.  “Pain in switching” is when a company makes it a challenge to switch, but this was real pain.  When I tried to discontinue service, and go back to my old way of doing things, every morning, 8 o’clock sharp, BEEP.  It would BEEP every 30 seconds unless I turned a knob.  And the next morning at 8, BEEP.  The controller had a message to call an 800 number, where I heard a demand for payment. 

This was painful, so I exacted my revenge by taking the time to collect every email for the company’s executive team, and Board of Directors, and sent them all a well-thought-out nasty-gram.  So far, they do not get it, have defended their subscription services and have refused an end-of-relationship solution that is reasonable.

I am seeking a Controller that is not subscription, takes the info from the weather channel, and provides me a dashboard of information from which to make my decisions. I have hope.

So, the moral of this story is, Smart Devices, not so smart executives.  Some, like the transformers, they may be able to evolve into a smart device.  Some, like the executives, well, they need to be recycled back into the work force.

What are your plans for Earth Day?  JimFitzEco@gmail.com.