A Cry for Help
Friday, February 18, 2011 at 11:41AM Dear Girl Scouts of America,
I write to you today as a former Brownie (Troop 701 from 1978 to 1981), a former Girl Scout Leader, and current parent of two daughters in scouting. But more than anything, I am writing to you as a concerned citizen and cookie enthusiast.
I would appreciate your attention to the following items regarding Thin Mints and I hope you will take my suggestions into serious consideration.
Before I begin, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you how much I love Thin Mints. The easy-to-grasp, slightly scalloped disc shape, the perfect ratio of robust mint and rich chocolate, the flaky crunch center. A smooth dark coating, rippling slightly beneath the surface. Whether straight from the freezer, room temperature, or slightly melted in your child’s lunchbox leftovers, a Thin Mint is consistently perfect.
However, from the moment I peel back the strip of corrugated cardboard to open a new box; I know I am flirting with danger.
But I do digress. This letter is not about the contents of the box, but rather, the Thin Mint box itself.
Below are some suggestions for some changes or additions to the signature green box.
Firstly, I strongly recommend that you change the serving size which is currently 4 cookies, to 1 sleeve. It would reduce the math involved in figuring out how many grams of fat and calories were just consumed when eating an entire box in one sitting.
While I do believe in personal responsibility, perhaps there is an argument for a small warning label on each box of Thin Mints. Simply: “WARNING: Thin Mints are addictive!”
This brings me to my next point. I believe the Girl Scouts should exercise social responsibility and address the euphoria-binge-guilt cycle that accompanies each box of Thin Mints.
May I boldly suggest 5 cents from the sale of every box of Thin Mints be dedicated to maintaining a Thin Mint Crisis Hotline. (You may want to check if 1-800-COOKIEJONES is taken.) The 800 number can be conveniently printed just below the photograph of smiling Girl Scouts in helmets and rapelling gear. By the way, what a great project for a troop’s Sliver or Gold Award: to create an App for a smart phone which immediately connects consumers to help.
Just the other day, I could have used a lifeline. A trained professional to reason with me before I lost control. I was driving. Alone, and hungry, with an opened box of Thin Mints in my car. I came to a red light where I justified that one was no big deal. By the time the light turned green, I was happily crunching Thin Mint number 3. A couple of miles later, I came to and had to throw the box to a far corner of the car that I could not reach while driving.
I am confident with the change of serving size, a warning label, and a toll free Thin Mint Crisis Hotline printed on every box, responsible and controlled consumption of Thin Mints could be within our grasp. It may even bolster the public’s confidence to eat Thin Mints without fear of the euphoria-binge-guilt cycle; thereby increasing sales.
Underlying all of these suggestions is the opportunity to showcase part of the Girl Scout Law itself. “To protect and improve the world around me and to show respect for myself and others through my words and actions”
Thank you for your time and consideration in addressing these pressing issues. I look forward to your response and many future Girl Scout Cookie seasons ahead.
Yours in Cocoa and Peppermint Oil,
Jill Fales
Reader Comments (2)
This is the funniest article ever. Soooooo true but please don't only lobby for the thin mints! I have the same dibilitating behavior with Do-Si-Dos and Samoas. Just last night my boss gave me a box of Samoas to bring home for my daughter and on my 15 minute drive home I ate half the box. Do you think your new fund would cover such behavior?
I love your article about Thin Mints. You are a very humorous writer.